Golf Joke: The Genie

A husband and wife head out to the golf course to play golf together for the first time. In fact, Howard has been teaching Rosie to play, and this is going to be her first full 18 holes of golf.

Things are going pretty well until they reach the 7th hole. The tee shot is across a pond to a tight fairway. Howard senses trouble when he sees the big house sitting right next to the fairway on the right side — right where Rosie's slice might take her ball.

Sure enough, Rosie hits her tee shot and the ball curves straight for the house. It crosses into the backyard and crashes through a big picture window.

Howard and Rosie both cringe. "I'm so sorry!" Rosie exclaimed. "Don't worry about it," Howard said, "we'll just have to go up to that house, find the owner, apologize, and see how much that window is going to cost us."

So they walk over to the house, find its front door, and knock. A deep, soothing voice replied, "Come on in."

When they open the door, the damage caused by Rosie's errant shot was obvious. Glass was all over the floor, and a broken antique bottle lay on its side near the smashed window.

A man was reclining on the couch. "Are you the people who broke my window?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. We're very sorry about that," Howard replied.

"Oh, no apology necessary!" the man exclaimed. "I owe you a huge 'thank you.' You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. When your golf ball broke the bottle, I finally was set free! Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. What are your wishes?"

"Wow, this is amazing!" Howard said. He thought for a moment, then blurted out, "I want $10 million a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll even guarantee you a long, healthy life! Now, what's the second wish?"

Rosie jumped in: "I'd like to own a huge, gorgeous mansion in every country in the world, each one complete with servants! And all bills paid!"

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!

"You have one wish left," the genie continued, "but I want to ask you a favor. I've been trapped in that bottle for so long ... would you mind allowing me to make the final wish?"

Howard and Rosie both were quick to say yes. After all, their future was more than secure. "What is your wish, genie?" Howard asked him.

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years," the genie said to Howard, "my wish is to have sex with your wife."

Howard and Rosie looked at each other, and whispered back-and-forth for a few seconds. Howard asked Rosie what she thought.

"You know, considering our good fortune today, all thanks to this genie, I guess it would be OK. But would you mind, Howard?"

"You know I love you, honey," Howard replied. "I'd do the same for you."

So Rosie and the genie went upstairs. Howard waited downstairs while the pair spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other's company.

After about three hours of non-stop action, the genie rolled over. Looking directly into Rosie's eyes, he asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"We're both 35," Rosie responded breathlessly.

"No kidding. That's interesting," the genie said. "Thirty-five years old, and both of you still believe in genies?"

(If you'd like to submit a joke, go to our homepage and click on the three-horizontal-lines symbol in the upper left. You can find the GC email address there.)

See also: Golf Joke: Dear Abby

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